Present Me VS Future Me

This is a concept that my brilliant friend Chris came up with when we were tidying her kitchen. I wanted to throw something out and she said "No, Future Me will use that."
I have come to realise that Future Me is my biggest problem and here's why. This is a list of a few of the things that Future Me does:

1. She is much calmer than Present Me. 
2. Everyday she dresses creatively and takes care with her appearance. Nothing flashy, just a beaded necklace, a cute pair of knee-high socks or a lovely pair of shoes.
3. She focuses her attention on one craft at a time She does this until she has completely mastered it (and lets face it, until she has become an expert in this field).
4. She spends fun, quality time with her children, baking or facilitating a cool project (which she then blogs about).
5. She plans creative healthy meals for the family (preferably using produce from her own Kitchen Garden).
6. She HAS a Kitchen Garden.
7. She exercises regularly and does not smoke or drink even half as much as Present Me (however she is a fun gal and will sneak a ciggie and a drink occasionally).
8. She runs an overwhelmingly successful Internet business / shop from her small-town, country cottage (however she has not let this go to her head and remains humble and likable).
9. She knows how to link Facebook, Blogger, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, and What's App together and make them work for her. 
10. She often makes time for a romantic interlude with her beautiful husband (she definitely does not take him for granted).
11. She does similar with her girlfriends.
12. She has a great grasp of the English Language and knows all the right grammar etc (but doesn't rub it in your face when you get things wrong). 
13. She makes time for herself; this might take the form of a quiet walk in the forest or a little treat at the beauty parlour. 
14. Her home is an absolute delight; a welcoming, stylish, quirky yet clean lined space.

OMG I cant go on, she is making Present Me want to vomit and then admit myself for a hospa-holiday. So why don't I get rid of her? Because I think she might be all of the people I admire most in the world rolled into one. 

Future Me defiantly wouldn't procrastinate as much as Present Me is doing by ranting in a blog post about an imaginary being. Please tell me that you have a Future Me too and I am not the only one being driven insane by an overachieving alter ego.